Choosing Sides: Deconstructing a Societal Paradigm

Choosing Sides: Deconstructing a Societal Paradigm      

      We've been tricked... tricked into wholeheartedly participating in the paradigm of "Choosing Sides"!  And, we've been tricked into believing in the myth that winning is a good thing.  In fact, we are so trained to think that winning is a good thing that when I make this statement, it is highly likely that most people will think something like: "Wait, I thought winning IS a good thing", or, "Of course winning is a good thing".  Yet, when we allow ourselves to deconstruct our societal programming, perhaps we will uncover the truer truth that winning is only "good" for some people, and, thus, it is not so good for others.

      The programming runs deep, so please bear with me as I attempt to dismantle some things that many of us typically accept as true.  For example, phrases that many accept as "the way things are" seem highly questionable to many others, such as: "survival of the fittest", "it's a dog-eat-dog world", "might makes right", "every man (sic) for himself", etc.  Though many of us have already evolved beyond this way of thinking, in our quest to deconstruct, we must still acknowledge that these cliches represent a worldview that is unfortunately popular among a vast majority of our population.  Which leads us to that oh so sacred cow that is adored by most "civilized" societies around the world... sports.  

      It would be easy for many to become defensive at this point and say things like: "sports are just innocent fun... lighten up."  So, please allow me to clarify by saying that I do not want to dismantle or deconstruct the necessary need for us to play.  On the contrary, my personal conviction is that playing is one of the most important activities that we humans should be participating in regularly.  However, what we now think of as "sports" is one of the ways that our society has taken a sacred art (namely, the sacred art of playing) and turned it into an agenda of competitive "tribalism".  Which brings us to how we have been tricked into choosing sides: The Atlanta Braves or the Saint Louis Cardinals; the Los Angeles Lakers or the Chicago Bulls; etc. 

      To be fair, it isn't just "sports" that has tricked us into participating in this particular paradigm.  We have also been programmed by so many of our mundane daily choices:  Coke or Pepsi;  Folgers or Maxwell House;  Ford or Chevy;  Nike or New Balance; Mac or Windows; iPhone or Android; etc., and this list could go on for days. Once again, at this point many of you might be thinking "all of this seems somewhat harmless", which from one perspective is valid.  That is, however, unless one is factoring in the ethical business practices (or lack thereof) of each company.  In addition, as my dear friend and mentor, Professor Omid Safi, PhD, recently said to me concerning this topic: "This is essentially what a capitalist system does.  It forces us to make so many seemingly insignificant choices between different products that we have no time left for the truly significant, cosmic matters of the heart and soul."

      The paradigm of choosing sides also seems to be woven into the very fabric of our societal structures, such as religion and nationality, and this is where the paradigm has the potential to become particularly dangerous.  Religion, for example, presents us with a plethora of sides to choose: Hindu or Buddhist; Jewish or Muslim; Taoist or Chrisitan (which can even be divided into multitudinous choices, i.e. Baptist or Methodist, Catholic or Lutheran, etc.).  The paradigm becomes even more dangerous in its culmination... nationalism.  And here in the United States, we even split teams and choose sides within the nation: Democrat or Republican (which is becoming more and more clearly a choice between the "lesser of two evils"), etc.  

      We have been tricked into dividing the human family into "us" verses "them", and we go to war defending "our side".  Many among us watch with cold, indifferent hearts as team "Israel" commits an ongoing, daily mass murder of innocent men, women, children, and babies on a genocidal level, and this is somehow "justifiable" due to particularly disgusting myths, such as the lie that the Israelites are "God's chosen people".  Juxtaposed to this daily display of barbaric injustice, the Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) said "Do not start a war.  If you must fight, then strike only at those who attacked you.  Do not harm women, children, the elderly, or those retreating in their places of worship.  Do not cut down trees or kill animals."  Many people from this mythic construct we call "the West" are at least somewhat surprised to hear this due to so much Islamophobic indoctrination. 

      So, may we stop participating in the dangerous and destructive paradigm of choosing sides, except in the moments when we must stand for justice. As Archbishop Desmond Tutu so beautifully stated: "If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor." Thus, in the case of injustice and oppression, "staying neutral" is, in fact, "choosing sides"... namely, "the side of the oppressor".  When we take a stand for our sisters and brothers, may it be clear that we are standing indiscriminately for and with those who are being oppressed.  As our government continues to give billions of our tax dollars to team "Israel" while they daily murder our innocent sisters and brothers, may we remember the words of Jesus (Peace Be Upon Him) when he said, "Whatever you (plural) do unto the least of these, you have done it to me."  May we learn to deconstruct any and all of the dangerous paradigms and myths that divide us. May we see the truer truth that there is no "us" and "them"... there is only us, and we are one family of sentient beings.   
And may we live in the light of this truer truth where there are no sides to choose... there is only us, and thus, may all of our choices be guided by Love.

Truer Truth

One of the many things that I have learned over the years about the art of writing songs is that each song seems to have something that it wants to say. Perhaps it sounds strange to speak of songs as if they are alive, but that is part of what they (the songs) have taught me and continue to teach me. It is as if each song that I work with has a life of its own, and, thus, something specific that it wants to say. That is a very different approach to songwriting than my early understanding of the art. When I started writing songs many years ago, my approach was to begin with something that I wanted to say. The process often felt very forced and difficult, and the end result typically was not very satisfying. Now, when I sit down at the piano, my mind is (hopefully) as empty as the blank sheet of paper on the table beside me. This approach will almost inevitably put me in touch with my deepest emotional state, and/or the emotion that the song that is about to be born wants to convey. When the process really seems to flow, it is as if I am somewhat of a midwife who is there to assist in bringing this new life (song) into the world.

Out of all of the songs I have ever written (and/or assisted in bringing into this world), none has ever flowed as effortlessly as "Truer Truth". And, ironically, none has ever seemed so conspicuously elusive. To describe the process as honestly and vivdly as I can:

"Truer Truth" began as a mysterious and almost haunting melody that I could "hear" (in its entirety) within. So, I sat down outside and alone with my voice recorder to capture what I was hearing. As I did this, I also paid careful attention to what was happening around me and did my best to capture the moment with words. "There is a new breeze blowing... Fall is a whisper away... All of the signs are showing... A subtle change." Staying as open to what the song wanted to say as I possibly could, I continued with this process until it seemed like the song might be complete. Interestingly, there were no words to be found for the chorus. Thus, I started to become frustrated by trying to force the chorus to say something that would bring some kind of "completion" to what the verses had already so effortlessly said. As I recognized the frustration, it started to become clear that it was time for me to stop forcing my idea of what the chorus should be. So, I let go. That was the moment when clarity arrived. The chorus was being inentionally elusive, because this is the very nature of the game that Truth plays with us!

Truth (as I have experienced it) is ambiguous... Life has taught me that every time we think we have finally arrived at some Ultimate Truth, we discover that there is actually a Truer Truth. And when we try to put that Truer Truth in a box and claim that it is the Truest Truth, that is the very moment that Truth herself will pull the rug out from under us so that we fall into the Truth that there will always be a Truer Truth. And when we can accept that this is True, we discover that this is actually very good news!

Thus, my favorite line of the song instantly became: "Though I don't understand it... this Truer Truth". It is absolutely liberating to realize that I don't have to understand everything. And, the song itself became so free and (hopefully) freeing for others in that there is absolutely nothing to prove. "Truer Truth" simply invites us into this pursuit of what is, even though we may never be able to capture that which we pursue. For me, this has become the very essence of the game that Truth plays. If we hold Truth with open hands, perhaps what we will discover is that She is always leading us to new places. He is always inviting us into new adventures. It is always inviting us to dance. They are always asking us if we want to play this game. The alternative is getting stuck. Truer Truth is our opportunity to become unstuck. So may we pursue this Truth, knowing that what we will most likely discover is that there will always be a Truer Truth.

A Little Crazy

It might be an understatement to say that I am... a little crazy. Maybe a little more than a little. So, it seems appropriate to make a song (and now a blog) about the fact that I am at least a little crazy. Not bad crazy. Not, you know, like... make the "news" crazy! More like... "look at that goofy guy who can't dance" kind of crazy. Or, like... "did he really just say that" kind of crazy. Or, "OMG, dad, you are so embarrassing" kind of crazy. I think you get what I mean here.

You see, the thing is... These days I am really learning to take my "self" a whole lot less seriously. Maybe it's a midlife crisis. Or, maybe it is a post-midlife crisis. In any case, I am taking myself way less seriously this second half (or less) of life. And, if you knew me in the first half (or more) of my life thus far, you are probably thinking: "less seriously?!? Wow, that's scary!"

All of this is not to say that I am taking life less sincerely. On the contrary, I would venture to say that the less seriously I take myself, the more sincerely I experience this gift of life. This is not an attempt to escape the fact that life is filled with pain and tragedy. It is more of an attempt to dance and laugh in the face of all that seems so heavy as we acknowledge all that is beautiful. After all, what good has stress, worry, and anxiety ever done? It seems that, perhaps, these responses (stress, worry, anxiety) only perpetuate the damage of pain and tragedy.

Taking my "self" less seriously is more like an antidote to pain and tragedy. And not just "my" pain and tragedy. It is an interesting, transformational process that seems to be teaching: the less I am wrapped up in "my' pain, wounds, personal tragedy, etc., the more freedom I have to be open to the suffering of others. Open in a way that isn't as heavy as it used to be, because there is less of my "self" to get bogged down. And, when we aren't bogged down... we dance and we laugh. Dancing and laughing heal us. If you don't believe me... try it!

Rumi says, "In that moment when you are drunk on yourself... you lock yourself away in cloud after cloud of grief. And in that moment when you leap free of yourself... the moon catches you and hugs you in its arms". Jesus says, "whoever loses their life will find it". Kharaqani was asked "where do you see God?", and he said, "wherever I don't see myself."

So, may we "leap free" from the chains of "self". And, in letting go of all of the false notions of who we might think we are, may we find all of the beauty wrapped up in the uniqueness of who we truly are... who we have always been, whether we knew it or not. May we laugh in the face of all that has chained us as we dance into the reality of all that we are meant to be. And may we take it all a little less seriously and a little more sincerely.

Or, maybe I'm just a little crazy...

The Tragic and the Magic

The headline reads: "Christmas Eve Becomes Nightmare...", which is horrifically accurate...

We were on our way home to bake cookies for Santa. The kids were watching the sky for the dim red light gleaming from Rudolph's shiny nose. Magic was in the air and in our hearts. It was, after all, the most magical night of the year.

Someone very wise once told me to do my best to live life without expectations. And, for the most part, I have learned that this is very good advice. However, Christmas Eve as I have experienced it thus far has consistently been... magic. So, the expectation was set. Set like a precious, fragile work of art on a low shelf in a room with a 2-year-old...

The magic became tragic on December 24th of 2021 when an intoxicated driver came full speed across the turning lane and into oncoming traffic directly in front of our van. The tragic became magic when I was miraculously able to quickly cut the wheel and avoid a head on collision with the oncoming vehicle. The magic became tragic again when I heard the intoxicated driver slam her car at full speed (without breaking or swerving) into the car our 20-year-old daughter, Savannah (who was following us home that evening), was driving.

Time froze as I screamed her name in shock and horror. Kristie and I were both filled with the fear that she could not possibly have survived that impact. Yet, a sliver of hope and trust in the miraculous mercy of the God who is Love allowed me to conjure enough courage to beg for Savannah's life to be spared.

The tragic became magic once again when Kristie and I arrived at what was once a car to find Savannah... alive! By the grace of that Friend who is Love, our prayers and pleas for a Christmas Eve miracle were answered. Magic and miracles are as real as anything we experience here, and Savannah's continued presence on planet Earth is living proof.

Life is filled with the tragic and the magic. We take the good with the bad, but sometimes the bad tricks us into becoming bitter. In a world filled with covid, cancer, intoxicated drivers who get sent home without a drug test, wars, genocide, racism, misogyny, entropy, etc., it is easy to become bitter. That is, only if we forget that the world is also filled with magic: life (in all of its magical forms), laughter, family, music, dancing, poetry, justice, beauty, mountain views, the colors in the sky at sunset, trees that wave hello and share the very breath that keeps us alive, streams, waterfalls, clouds, hot coffee, warm blankets, softly falling colorful leaves, softly falling snow and the spring that will inevitably follow, non-dairy Ben and Jerry's (did I mention coffee?), indoor plumbing and hot showers, central heat and air, playing and acting silly with children of all ages (did I mention dancing and laughing?), etc. Honestly, I could just keep going, because when I stop and think about it... the magic FAR outweighs the tragic.

So may we choose to see the magic! It is all around us… just waiting to be noticed, appreciated, and enjoyed. May we dive head first into gratitude, and in doing so, may we discover that gratitude is its very own form of magic. Gratitude has the power to dissolve bitterness and despair. Gratitude reminds us that we are alive and that we are loved! That may be hard to accept sometimes, but would we even be here otherwise?
We are alive... We are loved... and THAT... is... magic.

Messy

If there is anything that every honest parent could agree about, it is that the entire process of parenting is messy. From the womb to the world, the mess is inevitable. It cannot be avoided. All that the midwife, doctor, nurse, and/or parent can do is to prepare for the fact that this will be a very messy process. Yet, despite the mess, the pain, and the difficulty, being present for the birth of a brand-new baby is one of the most beautiful experiences that life has to offer.

However, every experienced parent will also tell you that this will not be the end of the messiness. On the contrary, this is actually just the introduction course. Perhaps we could call it something like: "The rest of your life will be messy 101". Indeed, at least the next 20 years of life will now be filled with messes.

We begin with dirty diapers, drool, leaky bottles and sippy cups, bibs smeared with baby food, cribs and car seats filled with crumbs, floors covered with smashed bananas and blueberries, bandages for boo-boos, and so many more lovely varieties of mess. And these are just the baby and toddler years!

All of these messes are just getting us prepared for the bigger messes yet to come. Broken hearts are much messier, and they are so much more difficult to handle. Embarrassing moments and situations, not getting picked for the team or the beauty pageant, getting picked on by the "cool" kids, not making great grades, and ultimately betrayal from so-called friends and "love" interests.

And then, there is the messiest mess of them all: Letting go. Here, after all of these years of changing diapers, kissing boo-boos, and mending broken hearts, we find that nothing we have experienced so far could prepare us for this final and most difficult mess. Yet, if we pay careful attention, we will see that letting go is not simply a mess... it is the natural ebb and flow of life.

Every Fall, the trees teach us that just as each individual leaf is beginning to mature into its own unique color and expression of beauty, this is the very moment of letting go. And just as the tree has provided all that was necessary for the leaf to become what it was meant to be, so we must recognize that we have done our job. Like the leaves, our children are becoming the mature expression of all that they are meant to be, and, so, we must let go.

Of course, this is not simple. It is, perhaps, the hardest thing a parent must do. Still, we must let go. Love lets go with selfless trust. A trust rooted in the process of cleaning up all the messes that have led us here. Now, we must trust that we have done our job, and we must trust our children (who are now adults) to do theirs. We must acknowledge that they will make messes... just like we did. And they will learn from their messes... just like we did. Perhaps they will have children of their own someday. And all that they have learned from their own messes will help them to deal with the messes that their children will make.

May we hold this trust with open hands and the utmost hope... the hope that they will have learned the same lesson that we have learned and are learning: That life is beautiful despite (or, perhaps, because of) the fact that it is... messy.

An Invitation

"Out beyond ideas of wrong doing and right doing there is a field. I'll meet you there." Rumi

As with most of what Rumi said in his poetry, this is such a deeply beautiful and profound statement. Yet, at first glance, it may seem like Rumi is saying that we shouldn't have opinions, concern ourselves with social justice and environmental issues, etc. Perhaps, that is how mystics come across in general at times. However, from my experience, I don't think that this is the case at all. In fact, history tells us that many of the greatest activists the world has ever known have also been great mystics.

Lately, I have been deeply experiencing what I think and feel that Rumi meant when he said this. And here is what that feels like to me:
You and I may have vastly different opinions about certain specific issues such as environmental degradation, Black Lives Matter, veganism and animal rights, spiritual beliefs and practices or lack thereof, etc. Yet, despite our differences, there is a place where we can set those distinctions and differences aside. A place where we can meet together as One family of sentient beings and say "I may not agree with you 100%, or at all, but we are Family and I love you. " We may disagree about many important issues, but you are not my enemy. And even if you consider yourself my enemy, then my responsibility as a friend of God and all other sentient beings is to love my enemy, as Jesus taught us in word and deed. And many other great mystics and prophets taught and lived the same principle, such as the great Sufi mystic Abu Sa'id, who so beautifully said:
"As for he who puts thorns in my path for sheer spite; may roses bloom thornless in the garden of his life."

So, I want to invite you to that place. That place beyond the distinctions and differences that divide us. That place where we discover the truth of Dr King's words: "Hate cannot drive out hate. Only Love can do that." That place "Out beyond ideas..."

I'll meet you there!

Black Lives Matter

As a person who spent so much of my life identifying as a "Christian", earning a degree in Theology, working at various churches, etc., I feel strongly compelled to say something to my human sisters and brothers who still identify as "Christians":

 Black Lives Matter.  

As a "Christian" (or even a decent human being, in fact) this should not be up for question or debate.  If you say, "all lives matter", my response would be: "no doubt!"... that is exactly why it is important to affirm that Black Lives Matter when they are being murdered and oppressed.

Speaking of Black Lives being murdered and oppressed, it might be helpful to reflect on this:  

Jesus was a Black man who was brutally beaten and murdered by white (Roman) police officers.  He and his circle of friends intentionally broke some of the unjust and oppressive laws of their day.  Some were even shocked when Jesus, a non-violent activist,  "looted" by walking into their temple, turning over tables, setting the animals free (which was their primary source of income), and ultimately disrupting business as normal.   However, we should not be surprised by this behavior.  Especially when Jesus had already said things like "You cannot love both God and money".  He knew well that the love of money always leads to and is fueled by oppression.  

And Jesus also said "Whatever you do or do not do unto those who are oppressed, you have done it or not done it to me."

So, if you identify as a "Christian", please be honest and ask yourself a few important questions: do I stand with Jesus, the Black man who was oppressed, wrongly accused, beaten, and murdered?  Or, do I stand with those in power (religious or political) and privilege who oppress, wrongly accuse, beat, and murder Black Lives? Do I stand with Jesus, who broke unjust laws and "looted" businesses to unmask oppression, or do I stand with those in power and privilege who accuse him/them of wrong doing?  Do I follow Christ or Trump?  Do I love God or money?  Jesus said it is impossible to love both...  

Much love,

Adam

An update and a new song

Hello friends, family, and loved ones!

It goes without saying that all Three Day Flight events, including the release of our new album "Washed In Wonder", have been canceled and/or postponed until further notice due to COVID-19.  

And what can one say or do at a time like this?  Kristie, in all of her energetic fire and beauty, has managed to keep Imagine somewhat afloat, find solutions for our employees, take care of 5 children, and even find time to stir it up on social media.  She never ceases to amaze me!  I, however, often find myself asking "What do I have to offer at a time like this?"  

For those who don't know us well, I have often said that Kristie is the "prophet" and I am the "mystic".  By that, I mean that Kristie has this beautiful ability to boldly say and/or do what needs to be said/done in ways that bring about justice.  Whereas, I tend to turn inward, seeking a spiritual path to discover ways to bring about unity, healing, peace, and love.  She uses most of her energy on "doing" while I work at "being".  Thus, we try to balance each other like a song: "Do - Be - Do - Be - Do" 🙂

Sometimes, when I struggle to find practical ways to share the fruit of my inner journey with others, the path can feel a bit selfish.  Particularly at times like these.  It is a big part of why I write songs and play music. It is my sincere hope that the songs I share with the world can somehow bring this unity, healing, peace, and love into the lives of others.

Thus, while we are having to postpone the completion of our new album, I have been searching for a way to offer something meaningful to the world.  And in my search, I heard a song.  Indeed, I could say that I "wrote" a song, but it feels more accurate and honest to say that I heard it.  Not with my ears, but somewhere deep inside.  Much like one "hears" a familiar song or a familiar voice somewhere within, yet without having to audibly/physically hear it.  It may sound crazy, but it is true... I "heard" this song as if some One was singing it directly to me... and as if that some One wanted me to sing it to you.

The song is called "The Reason", and you can listen to a live recording at the following link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEzuM_84DFw

Though it was recorded live at home without any editing or production, it is all I have to offer at this point.  I sincerely hope that you will find it meaningful, and that it may carry some light, healing, and love into your lives.

Much love to all of you,

Adam

All Of The Tears We Cry

All Of The Tears We Cry

"All Of The Tears We Cry" will be the name of Volume 3 of "Washed In Wonder". It is a line from one of the songs that will be included in Volume 3. The song is called "She Needed You", and will be released as a single very soon. The line "All Of The Tears We Cry" was chosen as the title for this Volume because it captures the overall essence and theme expressed by this group of songs.

Yes, you're right... that does mean that these are the sad songs. Yet, as with most of our songs, they are hopeful. Even the darkest song in this collection points toward hope by inviting the listener to "choose Love" "in spite of not knowing". That song, entitled "Not Knowing", is the darkest song I have ever written, because it was part of my way of dealing with losing my grandmother, Lou Lou, to a decade long battle with Alzheimer's disease. The song begins in the utter darkness of questioning and doubt, yet it leads us all to the difficult task of finding and choosing hope... even in our darkest moments.

All of these songs were born during a season of back to back struggles: losing Lou Lou, being involved in an accident that caused our entire family to experience varying degrees of trauma, losing a baby to the tragedy of a miscarriage, almost losing our first baby boy at birth and struggling with the challenges of his possible ongoing developmental disabilities, and more. Still, even in this season of struggle, our family is rooted in a Love that holds everything, literally everything, together. It not only holds us together, it makes us stronger than the struggle.

Gratefulness has been one of the fruits of this Love: grateful for the life and love that Lou Lou shared with us, grateful that our family survived the accident and healed from the trauma together, grateful that Kristie and I have co-created so many beautiful healthy children to share our lives with, grateful that our son, Aidan, survived a difficult start and continues to grow and experience this gift of life with us, etc.

And when we are honest and vulnerable enough to admit it... that is really what life is all about. We will experience seasons of struggle and pain, and we will experience seasons of laughter and light. Up and down; hot and cold; Yin and Yang. These are the building blocks of experience and , thus, the stuff that makes life... life. And that is the soil where these songs were born. The soil is this life that will bring us various seasons and experiences of joy and loss, pain and pleasure, trust and doubt. Yet, when rooted in the Love that holds everything together, hope grows in this soil and arises from the ash of all that we hold with open hands. Light finds its way through the very cracks that we despise. "All Of The Tears We Cry" become the salty water of purification that heal us as we are "Washed In Wonder".

Love and gratitude,
Adam

How To Fly With Angels

How To Fly With Angels

Yes, that will be the name of Volume 2... but wait... it's not what you think!  First of all: it's not a "how to" instruction manual type of thing.  Second, it isn't actually angels.  Well, at least not the ones we typically think of when we hear that word.  You know, the beautiful ladies with wings, harps, white robes, etc.  It is, however, a reference to the beautiful little ladies who call me daddy.  Okay, here's the back story:

"How to fly with angels" is a line from the final song of Volume 2.  It is a song that I wrote most specifically for our youngest daughter, Aspen.  The name of the song is "Walking With An Angel", because Aspen loves to take walks with her daddy.   And these walks are absolutely magical.  Literally magical... and if you don't believe in magic, I would suggest making an investment in humility and taking lessons from a child.  That is essentially what the song is about:  all of the magic and wonder that Aspen teaches me when we go on walks.  She is teaching me "how to fly with angels": how to observe and appreciate the magic, mystery, wonder, and beauty of all that is around us in this gift of life we get to live.  

Not only is that the overall theme of this particular Volume; it is also right at the heart of the overall body of work that will be called "Washed In Wonder".  In fact, the abstract ideas of being "washed in wonder" and learning "how to fly with angels" are very much the same.  Most simply put: they are expressions of learning to appreciate and embrace the beauty, magic, mystery, and wonder that we experience in this gift of life.  The biggest difference in my own mind and heart is that one is the humility of learning from a child, while the other is the need we develop as we mature in this humility to continually return to the experience and be "washed" (renewed, revived, healed, etc.) by the experience.  

An interesting and important side note is that though this is a beautiful lullaby type of song written for our youngest daughter, it also contains the darkest and most difficult images of any song I have written for our children up to this point.  This is because I decided to deal honestly with all of the experiences that Aspen and I encounter on our walks.  Most of the experiences we have are encounters with the sky, flowers, animals, trees, and other various forms of natural beauty.  However, we also experience poverty, despair, mental illness, and other various forms of darkness and broken humanity.  Yet, Aspen responds to each experience with the innocence of a... well... child.  She doesn't respond with the typical judgements, assessments, or critique that most adults would.  That type of response typically only perpetuates brokenness.   Aspen responds with hope and love.  She responds with hope and love because in her innocence, she is washed in wonder.  And she is teaching me how to fly with angles.  

Heart Chiropractic

One thing that I am always learning is that I am always learning.  In fact, if we aspire to live a meaningful life it is necessary to always be learning.  As a musician and songwriter, one of the ways that I learn is by listening.  Listening to others... to their work... their advice...to their guidance... to their music.  My personal "favorite" music is any music that brings healing into my life.  And trust me... I need lots of healing.  If that surprises you, it might be that you don't know me very well.  The thing is, I am somewhat convinced that we all need lots of healing.  We are all a mess.  The real question is whether or not we are willing to be honest and vulnerable enough to receive that healing.  So a big part of what I am learning is that in order to write "good" music (music that heals)... I must be honest and vulnerable. 

 Here is another important lesson I have learned and am continuing to learn:  good music is always ahead of the person who is writing it... essentially leading us to the place we need to go.  This is a lesson that I first heard explained by David Wilcox (a song writing master and mentor).  He used the analogy that a good song is like head lights showing us the way.  At first, I thought that was a little strange, yet something in me knew that it was also profound.  Now, I am experiencing that it is simply profound and true.  When I was a less mature songwriter, my songs would tend to be a little... (oh, I almost hate to say it)... preachy.  It was as if I had something to say to the world and "they" needed to hear it.  Damn, was I dead wrong!  

As I have matured as a songwriter and as one who is living this intense adventure we call life, I am learning that the best music is always out ahead of me.  Leading me.  Guiding me.  Teaching me.  Healing me.  It is as if my role in the process is simply to receive.   And once I have received... the guidance, the healing, the music, etc... my role is to pass the gift on to others.   As one who struggles almost as much with back issues as with heart issues, I have come to know this process as heart chiropractic.  When my heart starts to feel all messed up, music is one of the best ways I know to get an adjustment.  And it works.  Of course, that is only part of why I write songs.   Obviously, many of the songs I write (particularly those written for Kristie and our girls) are written from a place of deep joy and love experienced in the now.  Yet, so many of my best songs are written as a means of heart chiropractic: the adjustment needed to become the person I am meant to be.  And not only to get the adjustment that I need, but to offer the same gift to others.  After all, everyone needs an adjustment if we are honest and vulnerable enough to admit it.  My hope is that the songs of Three Day Flight may offer you this gift of healing, joy, and love that we all need in our lives.  

Much love and healing to you,
Adam

An Epiphany While Mixing Songs

An Epiphany While Mixing Songs

(Written in August of 2016, while working on "Separate/Same")

This past week we spent some time in the studio working on our new album "Separate/Same". We are getting close to being finished, so at this point we are mostly mixing what has already been recorded. One of the songs that we finished this past week was a song that I wrote for our daughters called "Precious". The song is already deeply emotional to me for obvious reasons. In addition to the obvious reasons, all of our daughters will be featur...ed in this track on the album. Savannah will be playing saxophone and all of the other girls will be laughing, playing, cooing, and contributing other variations of cute sounds.

Swimming in this lovely sea of beauty and cuteness as we listened to the overall mix, Steve (the engineer) suddenly did the unthinkable... he began to mute all of the channels so that he could listen to the specific sound of one part at a time. In other words, all of the cute sounds suddenly disappeared. To make matters worse, the parts he was listening to one at a time were somewhat disturbing for me to hear. Though I had at one point recorded each vocal part individually, since that initial recording, I had always listened to these parts all together... never individually. The parts are essentially background vocals that swell dynamically in and out to create a sort of lullaby ambiance. Together, the parts combine in a choir of harmonies. Isolated, each part sounds disturbingly vulnerable. At first, I became intensely critical of my voice singing falsetto parts... parts that now sounded similar to sounds I imagine a suffering beached whale would make. It was almost enough to make me scrap all of these parts and start from scratch, but I reminded myself that the parts sounded good... together. So, the next phase was to ease off a bit and recognize that the vocal parts really didn't sound like suffering whales. They simply sounded... vulnerable.

And that was when the epiphany came crashing over me like a turbulent tide at sea. Honestly, the principle is very simple: isolated and alone, the parts sound vulnerable and it is easy to become critical; together, the parts create harmony and unite in a choir of beauty. Thus, the theme of the entire album was alive in metaphor before my very eyes... Separate/Same... When we isolate and individualize others, it is easy to become critical of their particular set of faults and imperfections. When we come together in unity, vulnerably combining all of our faults and weaknesses with all of our beauty and strength... individual imperfections seemingly dissipate as we create the gorgeous harmonies of Love.

Creative

We are all creative!  This is something I have been learning... or, perhaps, relearning. 
We are all creative!  Some of us have simply forgotten.  Even people who believe that we are created in the image of a Creator often forget that we are all creative.  Of course we are!  Look at all that we have made...
We make beautiful things:  We make babies.  We make music.  We make food.  We make love.  We make movies. We make peace.  We make art of all kinds. 
We also make horrible things:  We make war.  We make noise.  We make promises that we cannot keep.  We make messes. We make weapons. We make mistakes. 
Regardless of what we make, this truth remains:  We are all creative! 
Now, I am learning to embrace this truth more each day.  For several years, I have been experimenting with my own ability to make music.  At first, I simply made music by singing.  Then I started playing notes on a piano or a saxophone, or rhythms on a drum.  Then I learned how to read music.  Then I learned how to play songs "by ear" (listening to songs and playing/singing my rendition of what I have heard).  For years, I have made music by playing in bands with other musicians.  And for a few years I have experimented in what has felt like the most dangerous type of music making: writing songs. 
Yes, dangerous!  It takes so much bravery (at least for me) to lay your heart on the line and offer the world what lives inside.  It is dangerous for a fragile, wounded heart to risk offering the world something new.   Something that they may not like.  Something that they may reject or even criticize. 
Perhaps this is at least part of the reason that so many of us have forgotten that we are creative.  We are afraid to create something new, because the world may reject it. 
For me, the music inside of my heart has grown to a point that I can no longer keep it there.  Despite the risk, what is inside of me is there for a reason. I have come to see that I must make the music in my heart and offer it to this world, even if the world rejects and criticizes it.  And I have come to a point where I am learning to let go of the fear that keeps me from creating this art.  It is worth the risk if even one person is healed.  Even if the only person healed...is me.
So remember: we are all creative!  You are creative!!  Do not be afraid to be who you are... create.  Make beautiful things: make art, make peace, make food, make music, make poetry, etc.  Whatever you make, create with love!  Create with the hope that what we make matters!  Offer it to the world, and if the world rejects what you make and breaks your heart into pieces... take those broken pieces and pour them into more art.  And offer it again with the hope that your brokenness will help heal others who are broken.  Offer the world your brokenness with love, and that love may just heal you and this broken world.  This has been my experience, and continues to be my hope!
We are all creative!  So don't be afraid... choose to create, and choose to create with love, my friends!!
So much love to all of you!!!
Adam